How we became white people

By Christian Lander, Special to CNN

April 30, 2010 10:44 a.m. EDT

(CNN) — I am white. I know that’s a terribly big surprise, considering that I write a blog called Stuff White People Like, but I mean it, I’m white.

Like really white.

I’m not attempting to assert some sort of superiority through my whiteness; quite the opposite actually. Thanks to my liberal upbringing, I am imbued with the appropriate amount of guilt and shame about my ancestors and their actions in the New World.

Even in my home, I can’t offer a blanket to a nonwhite friend without the fear that they will look at me and say “no smallpox on this right?” A joke, but I still want to apologize.

I’m a white male. I belong to a group that pretty much always been able to own land and to vote. I’m more or less from the kind that grabbed power somewhere after the fall of Rome and never let go. In other words, I’m the kind of white guy that has never experienced any real oppression.

Although I guess my ancestors technically left England because of some religious persecution and in spite of a rough boat ride and a rough first Thanksgiving, it’s safe to say it worked out pretty well. Unless you got one of those aforementioned blankets.

But in addition to being white and having ancestors on the Mayflower, I’m also Canadian. Yes, I know that might actually make me more white than before, but it also technically makes me an immigrant to this country.

Still, I am loath to call myself an immigrant because I don’t want to demean the very real, very difficult challenges faced by immigrants to this country who have had to overcome differences in language, culture and distance from their families. I would say my biggest hardship has been trying to find Ketchup Chips.

But in the eyes of the U.S. government, I am an immigrant, the same as someone from China, Mexico or India. I would not be in this country had I not met my wife in graduate school, and I am thankful every day for her and the opportunity to live in the United States.

So when the census came around, I was absolutely thrilled. I’ve lived in the United States for eight years (four of them as a graduate student), and in that time, I have never been able to vote or access any public services. The census meant I was going to be counted, I was going to be a part of American history. A good part, not that blanket part.

When the form arrived, I scanned the options and quickly checked “white.” I would have checked “Canadian” but that option wasn’t anywhere to be found. There it was, I was a white American, or technically a white American Permanent Resident. But then I started thinking about what it really means to be a white American.

As long as America has been around, I would have been considered white. I would have checked the same box in the 1790 census, had my relatives decided to stay on their land instead of moving to Canada to stay loyal to the King of England. But not everyone who checked that box on the census has always been considered white. Irish, Italian, Jewish, German and Eastern European have all been considered not white. or at the very least “not American.”

All of these groups came to America amid widespread discrimination, and yet through the process of assimilation and Americanization, the status of white was slowly conferred upon them (read “The History of White People” or “How the Irish Became White” for actual, intelligent research on how this happened).

And with this new-found white status also came the status of “ethnically American.” Of course, a lot of people will say that there is no such thing as an ethnic American and that everyone who becomes a citizen is an American. And this is true to the letter of the law, but if we consider the popular perception of immigration and the American dream, to say that white skin has nothing to do with it would be complete folly.

In the popular myth, immigrants arrive as huddled masses yearning to be free and most of the women wear scarves around their head. They move to the Lower East Side or some other suitably “ethnic” community, they change a last name, they learn English and within one generation they are welcomed into the country as ethnic Americans and granted that wonderful privilege of checking the white box on the census.

The reality is that America has a long history of welcoming immigrants who will never be able to check that white box on the census, and unfortunately that means America also has a long history of discrimination against those people regardless of their status in the country. Just one example would be the treatment of Japanese-Americans during World War II contrasted against the treatment of German-Americans.

But all of that was in the past right? Well, ask yourself this: Who is more likely to get pulled over and forced to show his papers in Arizona today? A first generation Canadian immigrant, or a 10th generation Mexican-American?

What I hope this census will force the country to deal with is the fact that white immigrants like me will never again make up the majority of people that come to this country. America is not getting whiter, it will never get whiter. Well, unless we start handing those blankets out again.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Christian Lander.

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I hereby Super Co-sign the following rant:

FACEBOOK PET PEEVES

I can’t help but notice that some people do things on facebook that annoy me. Not enough that I’d want to stop checking in every 5 minutes, but enough that I think, grr!!

1. Feet as a profile pic.
No one wants to see your damn toes. “Everyone’s not like you, Tianna! Some people don’t mind.” yes they do. They’re just being polite. NO ONE wants to see your toes. Especially not while I’m checking facebook as I eat my breakfast bagel. So you say, “oh get over it, feet aren’t gross!” ok, maybe you feel that way. But why would you just take a picture of a random body part as a userpic? Do you have any close ups of your nose you’d like to share? A nice kneecap shot?

2. Comment hijacking
Let’s say I write a status message: “Tianna is hating this weather!” Donna comments: “I know, snow is wack!” then Cameron chimes in and says, “omg, Donna, it’s been so long! what are you up to? how is life? are you still working at Macy’s?!” slow your role, Cameron. We were talking about the weather here. Wanting to know what she’s up to is wall post worthy talk. What Cameron just did is the facebook equivalent of me chatting with Donna at a party and Cameron busts in from nowhere with questions from 10 years ago. Not to mention, I probably got all excited thinking someone was co-signing on snow being wack and got that instead. Now I’m listening to you guys catch up.

3. Uncaptioned photos.
I’m not saying be a tour guide, just a word or two. This especially goes for people who just post random pictures of babies. Most of my friends are of baby having age. If I haven’t seen you in a year, I’m just going to assume it’s your baby. Then when I see a mutual friend out and about they’re like, “how’s Monica doing?” “She seems ok, on facebook I saw she had a kid.” When Monica doesn’t have a kid, I just gleaned that because Monica doesn’t caption.

4. Inspirational quote status messages. every.single.day.
“The road to the path beginning is the end of the one ending!”-Thoreau “Love is like a rock with a diamond in the middle. You never know what you’re gonna get!”- Einstein. That’s great. Now what do YOU say?

5. Ppl who typ lk ts in msgs on fb
Why are you abbreviating? You get 200+ characters to type out a status message. Twice as many as on Twitter, yet the typical morning greeting is “gm fb!” I know we’ve become a nation obsessed with acronyms, but come on people! let’s just make that extra effort before we fully succumb to speaking in grunts and squeals. i know it was already hard enough to pick up that phone that was already in your hand to type that out, but do you think you could hunt and peck your way to those other 9 letters before giving up on your day so easily?

Howard Zinn believed Pres. Obama would be judged as a mediocre President and i respond with this: I think we should wait to pass judgment. George Bush was given the benefit of the doubt for 5 years, while we plan to hold Pres. Obama accountable for the future 3 years left of his. While that may end up being the truth, I don’t think that many of us are clairvoyant and we should stop thinking of the Presidency like a call in American Idol episode. Just as Bush may not be judged as harshly by history; it remains to be written currently let alone historically, by what measure of a President, Obama will be judged. Lets be patient and deliberate in this age of judge/act now-think/reflect later. The future isnt written for any of us.

Am I a Bad Black Woman? Vol. I

 1/26/2010 11:15AM by Jam Donaldson

Though we don’t like to admit it, there are certain feelings that, as a woman and specifically as a black woman, I’m supposed to have. African Americans are pretty legendary for our blackness litmus tests. Add being a woman on top of that, and the community can be pretty demanding about what you should and shouldn’t think.

Well, I’m here to confess my Internal Blackness Violations (IBVs). I’m finally going to get it all off my chest. These are things I often think, but dare not say. Until now.

And while many of my most secret thoughts may undermine my legitimacy as a black woman, I must let them out before I explode. I warn you. It’s not pretty.

I think Michelle Obama is kinda funny looking.

I could care less about that hoopla over Reggie Bush being on the cover of Essence and care even less about who he dates.

I think the WNBA is full of ugly lesbians (not that anything’s wrong with that).

I think Michael Steele is embarrassingly inarticulate.

I think many of Tom Joyner’s “Little-Known Black History Facts” are, in fact, not true.

Women sportscasters, police officers and soldiers make me uncomfortable.

I think Kwanzaa is some bullshit.

Sometimes I say in my head, I’m glad my hair isn’t as nappy as hers.

I think David Brooks is right more than he is wrong.

I think Tyra is getting too big.

(As a single black woman) I’m sick of hearing black women complain about being single. Read a book.

I think Michael Baisden is silly, loud and annoying, and that most of the people that call his

show are morons.

The bitter black women wing of the blogosphere is so tired. They all just need to get laid.

I’ve never liked Teena Marie’s voice. I think she sounds crazy.

Whenever they start to play reggae music at a party, I go sit down.

 I secretly think all Nigerians are gonna rip me off. Sorry.

Whew! Ok, now I can sleep tonight.

Do you have any IBVs?

http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2010/01/25/south-carolina-republican-regrets-stray-animal-metaphor/

Those kinds of people kill me! Just lump everyone who receives any government assistance into the “lazy pile”. Nevermind your active duty families who don’t receive enough income to take care of their families while Mom/Dad are gone.  Nevermind the people who may have been supporting themselves until a failed economic plan ruined their livelihood,now that family needs assistance to bsaically survive while they search month after month for a job that pays more thant $6/hr.  I guess grandma whose pension was cancelled is also a lazy bum too, nevermind the 30+ years she worked for our American companies that folded.  All bums, who arent worthy of any compassion at all.  I dont hate Republicans because I’m loyal to the Dems. I simply have a soul!

When tasked with the hardest things you ever have to do.  You can get anxious about the things in your control and fret about the things that are out of your hands.  To relax and be patient, is so much easier said than done. How can you not think about what consumes your mind?  As much as I hate the saying, “Let go and let God”; it’s something that you can and have to do, because tying your stomach in knots every waking hour won’t provide anymore clarity or clairvoyance about what is yet to come.

So today and going forward I’m going to try and do what I know to be true.  Somedays I’ll fail, miserably I’m sure.  But everyday is a new day and all I can do is try a little harder.  Hmm or maybe not try, cause if I try, well I’ll still be thinking, won’t I?